My so-called 'hatemail' to 'yetti':
Subject: "So you're about-facing and bashing me now that Iv'e been banned?"
Body of Email:
"http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=9666
Calliing this 'one sided' and pretending as if you and I hadn't discussed the thing about your marz brothers comments etc?
One sided?
Yeah, the side that's been stolen from, and the side that's been shushed, Amanda hasn't exactly got much to complain about.
Its nice how you do thisafter the fact, knowing better and only after I don't have a voice on there (I was banned after I made one post in a religious thread that said "I feel like singing")
I guess I'm safe in assuming with thse words of yours that this means I can forget about you helping me to find legal representation then?
Real nice."
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
RE: Autistic woman speaks out (6)
RE: Autistic woman speaks out
erkolos Wrote:
"I'm theorizing here but... ok, here it goes:
I wonder if Amanda is infact triyng to copy you because she actually admires you, she wants your strengths. Reason why is because I remember another kannerite who visitted the chatrooms some time ago and got herself in fights with Amy. She was then banned which I think was a wrong decision from my point of view. She started a new chatroom elsewhere where she called herself 'ami'. Ami sounds very similar to Amy's name and I believe that's not a coincidence. I'm not sure of this but I think she also tried to copy the way Amy chat with multiple short entries of one long message.
... just a thought."
thats actually one theory that was presented to me with the other two schizophrenics who have copied me.
in both those instances it was on a smaller scale (I spent about 2 weeks in a psychiatric unit after a one trip round with 'bipolar disorder' and while there this other woman who's name was Donna and was about my height too decided to follow me around mimmicking all I did, if I touched or tugged on a sign on the wall, she did likewise, if I stood in one place in the hallway and rocked.. (yes like rainmain on the porch scene I do that I'm not proud of it), there was Donna.. she even tried to adapt her clothing to that which I wore (at that time I was never caught uptright and awake wiithout a certain army utility shirt).. this made me nuts and they said she was mentally ill and couldnl't help herself etc etc and imitation is the best flattery etc, but it agitated me no end and it was obvious there too that it was most unwanted .. I mean I finaly 'went off' on this woman when I could take it no more -- and people confusing our names didn't help whatsoever, of course Donna thought that was coolbeans to have them confuse the two of us, but I couldn't take it and finally had a mega meltdown aimed right AT Donna (and the very last thing you want to be is my own size and have me explode at you, so far never met a fellow 5'0" woman I couldn't whup, whatever).. they ended up making stronger effort to separate us and I was let out of there shortly after anyway.
The other lives in my apartment building to this day, and her name is Tammy, who states she was dxed as having 'simple schizophrenia' is one year younger than me, and also another shorty, my height, decided she too was a member of Mensa, Beatles fan (hard core and only after seeing me and my apartment covered with beatles things and my obvious facination with them), decided she too had a cyst on her brainstem right where I've got one, she also 'became' visually impared/low visioned, adopted my mannerisms/poor gross motor control.. it was pretty bad and she lived here and was doing this and I'd see her in the hallway and she'd latch on, tried to come visit me in my apartment, people started calling me Tammy, her by my first name, I ended up writing her an email from my apartment, worded very similarly in fact to the choice of what I thought were pretty kind words I posed to Amanda in a very similar email much later, to the effect of we can appreiciate our differences, we don't have to be just alike, I like you for what's not just like me, etc
Tammy came up to my apartment (my friend John was here) knocked and when I opened the door she came charging in, circled around me fast, just ran a circle around me and was crying and said my email 'wasn't very nice' and bolted back off out the door, leaving my friend John and I to wonder what had just happened. I caught Tammy a time or two after that in the lobby, mid sentence into 'her' medical history, etc, she'd turn to look and see me there and stop mid sentence.
That did seem to be the end of it though.
I was once talked into helping her fix something on her computer and while there and looking into the trouble (looking AT the computer and not Tammy) she burst into tears and apparently took it as some major affront that I was looking at the computer to fix it and not at her when she was talking or whatever and I just didn't get it and I got out of there.
I still avoid Tammy if at all possible. She greets everyone, seems very proud to know everyone's name, but the obsessive fixated copying thing from her is over, thank God. I just continue to avoid in the hopes of not somehow triggering it again.
Complimentary in intention or not to start with, when they know its not welcomed and its very disturbing then that meed for it to stop really needs to be respected, and I don't see that happening here with Amanda, I don't see why its ever started, why it continues in the face of its being so unwelcomed, or what its going to take to make it stop.
The story of an LFA woman being banned from here by Amy looked awfully familiar and I really thought you were talking about me unawares (since that happened to me before as well and exactly that way) until you got to the 'ami' part of things. I never did that or tried to emulate Amy's style of chatting (I simply got pissed at how I was treated and came back raging, fingers flying typing fast and furious and letting Amy know in clear terms what I felt abiout it, etc)
I'll also even grant you that I have obviously 'copied' John Lennon especially early on at realizing I had a connection/was like/on the same plane as others.. that whole mentality of being like a 2 year old separate and apart and no idea that you can do other things.. well I decided to wear that army utility shirt made up to match John Lennon's Madison Square Garden concert shirt, wore round glasses, decided I was going to be an activist, "Rosa Parks of the Disabled Set"...
I clearly did this out of admiration a desire to be like him, and I also did a similar sort of generic thing to all the unviersity students on campus (no one in particular just that desire to be recognized as one of them)
But if John Lennon had known me and had asked that I not do that, I would have stopped.
Trying to be like the university students and my goal of being identifiable as one of them and not as a 'retard' wasn't exactly personal and noen of them could object I guess had they known, was actually possible a demented attempt at 'fitting in'? I don't know.
All I know is those are the extent of my experiences with this prior to now, and when Donna, Tammy, and now Amanda do this its very very *very* threatening to me, its like trying to pull my limbs off me..
everybody has one data cluster, one index card.. two people cannot share the same index card, the same data, two people can not share the same index card and she's continually plucking bits off my index card and I need her to stop it, I need he to give those back and respect this and hands off.
Expecting this to get snatched off by goofy there and so I'll be posting it on my blog page as well, so hopefully if you look here and er.. don't see this post heh, you'll know to look for my response at the url in my signature. (Such fun some people have playing games I guess).
erkolos Wrote:
"I'm theorizing here but... ok, here it goes:
I wonder if Amanda is infact triyng to copy you because she actually admires you, she wants your strengths. Reason why is because I remember another kannerite who visitted the chatrooms some time ago and got herself in fights with Amy. She was then banned which I think was a wrong decision from my point of view. She started a new chatroom elsewhere where she called herself 'ami'. Ami sounds very similar to Amy's name and I believe that's not a coincidence. I'm not sure of this but I think she also tried to copy the way Amy chat with multiple short entries of one long message.
... just a thought."
thats actually one theory that was presented to me with the other two schizophrenics who have copied me.
in both those instances it was on a smaller scale (I spent about 2 weeks in a psychiatric unit after a one trip round with 'bipolar disorder' and while there this other woman who's name was Donna and was about my height too decided to follow me around mimmicking all I did, if I touched or tugged on a sign on the wall, she did likewise, if I stood in one place in the hallway and rocked.. (yes like rainmain on the porch scene I do that I'm not proud of it), there was Donna.. she even tried to adapt her clothing to that which I wore (at that time I was never caught uptright and awake wiithout a certain army utility shirt).. this made me nuts and they said she was mentally ill and couldnl't help herself etc etc and imitation is the best flattery etc, but it agitated me no end and it was obvious there too that it was most unwanted .. I mean I finaly 'went off' on this woman when I could take it no more -- and people confusing our names didn't help whatsoever, of course Donna thought that was coolbeans to have them confuse the two of us, but I couldn't take it and finally had a mega meltdown aimed right AT Donna (and the very last thing you want to be is my own size and have me explode at you, so far never met a fellow 5'0" woman I couldn't whup, whatever).. they ended up making stronger effort to separate us and I was let out of there shortly after anyway.
The other lives in my apartment building to this day, and her name is Tammy, who states she was dxed as having 'simple schizophrenia' is one year younger than me, and also another shorty, my height, decided she too was a member of Mensa, Beatles fan (hard core and only after seeing me and my apartment covered with beatles things and my obvious facination with them), decided she too had a cyst on her brainstem right where I've got one, she also 'became' visually impared/low visioned, adopted my mannerisms/poor gross motor control.. it was pretty bad and she lived here and was doing this and I'd see her in the hallway and she'd latch on, tried to come visit me in my apartment, people started calling me Tammy, her by my first name, I ended up writing her an email from my apartment, worded very similarly in fact to the choice of what I thought were pretty kind words I posed to Amanda in a very similar email much later, to the effect of we can appreiciate our differences, we don't have to be just alike, I like you for what's not just like me, etc
Tammy came up to my apartment (my friend John was here) knocked and when I opened the door she came charging in, circled around me fast, just ran a circle around me and was crying and said my email 'wasn't very nice' and bolted back off out the door, leaving my friend John and I to wonder what had just happened. I caught Tammy a time or two after that in the lobby, mid sentence into 'her' medical history, etc, she'd turn to look and see me there and stop mid sentence.
That did seem to be the end of it though.
I was once talked into helping her fix something on her computer and while there and looking into the trouble (looking AT the computer and not Tammy) she burst into tears and apparently took it as some major affront that I was looking at the computer to fix it and not at her when she was talking or whatever and I just didn't get it and I got out of there.
I still avoid Tammy if at all possible. She greets everyone, seems very proud to know everyone's name, but the obsessive fixated copying thing from her is over, thank God. I just continue to avoid in the hopes of not somehow triggering it again.
Complimentary in intention or not to start with, when they know its not welcomed and its very disturbing then that meed for it to stop really needs to be respected, and I don't see that happening here with Amanda, I don't see why its ever started, why it continues in the face of its being so unwelcomed, or what its going to take to make it stop.
The story of an LFA woman being banned from here by Amy looked awfully familiar and I really thought you were talking about me unawares (since that happened to me before as well and exactly that way) until you got to the 'ami' part of things. I never did that or tried to emulate Amy's style of chatting (I simply got pissed at how I was treated and came back raging, fingers flying typing fast and furious and letting Amy know in clear terms what I felt abiout it, etc)
I'll also even grant you that I have obviously 'copied' John Lennon especially early on at realizing I had a connection/was like/on the same plane as others.. that whole mentality of being like a 2 year old separate and apart and no idea that you can do other things.. well I decided to wear that army utility shirt made up to match John Lennon's Madison Square Garden concert shirt, wore round glasses, decided I was going to be an activist, "Rosa Parks of the Disabled Set"...
I clearly did this out of admiration a desire to be like him, and I also did a similar sort of generic thing to all the unviersity students on campus (no one in particular just that desire to be recognized as one of them)
But if John Lennon had known me and had asked that I not do that, I would have stopped.
Trying to be like the university students and my goal of being identifiable as one of them and not as a 'retard' wasn't exactly personal and noen of them could object I guess had they known, was actually possible a demented attempt at 'fitting in'? I don't know.
All I know is those are the extent of my experiences with this prior to now, and when Donna, Tammy, and now Amanda do this its very very *very* threatening to me, its like trying to pull my limbs off me..
everybody has one data cluster, one index card.. two people cannot share the same index card, the same data, two people can not share the same index card and she's continually plucking bits off my index card and I need her to stop it, I need he to give those back and respect this and hands off.
Expecting this to get snatched off by goofy there and so I'll be posting it on my blog page as well, so hopefully if you look here and er.. don't see this post heh, you'll know to look for my response at the url in my signature. (Such fun some people have playing games I guess).
RE: Autistic woman speaks out (5)
RE: Autistic woman speaks out
erkolos Wrote:
*wonders if this could possibly be a result of a terrible misunderstanding between the two*
a reasonable question and thing to consider, a very peacekeeping mediation and honorable question to ask,
but just the same, tell me:
what could I have possibly misunderstood?
what could she have possibly misunderstood?
Amanda is a master at reworking reality and dodging when really busted for it under 'misunderstandings' and all this other crap -- and if there's anything about me that should scare the hell out of her its my bullshit detector and my knack for seeing right through that.
eg., she could write a work the size of Gone With The Wind all in defense of and explanation of how the sky is green, how it became green, the necessity of seeing it as green, wonderful flowing grand word constructions the great authors might even envy in her efforts...
DEMANDING that you see it her way, insisting and working all sorts of ingenious wordings and persuasions
but at the end.. and with complete comprehension thankyouverymuch
after wading through this Great Work I'm still gonna toss it aside and tell her she's full of shit take her green sky persuading bullshit and stuff it. Evidently most people aren't quite so immune.
I have a bullshit detector (hear that Amanda? Its a bullshit detector, not meter, but hey nice try, maybe next time your aural memory for what you read me say will serve you a bit better eh?)
No unfortunately nothing to misunderstand here.
She copies me, I told her to quit it, she basically told me to get bent/she's not stopping (and she hasn't).
erkolos Wrote:
Why don't you use the earlier droopy account here at AFF?
They've got something going on where it looks like I can log in, like the 'banned' is removed to look at it, but in fact I cannot log in, it gives me the same banned message as if it had 'banned' marked on it to look at it like other banned accounts.
That's the result of some stupidity that took place some time ago and some people's fear that anyone else might see it.
"Water under the bridge' in favor of dealing with this much bigger issue that's inflicted itself on me (see my previous responsse for that)
I had no intention of posting here again, but (and also to also answer Timeloard's query):
yeah it seems this had to be done here.
Amanda obviously favors a onesided (her's) dialogue.
I don't.
PS,
erkolos I don't find either of your questions to be dumb.
I also don't know who Lil_marlene is but you've got my attention, seems you've observed and said some very astute stuff.
erkolos Wrote:
*wonders if this could possibly be a result of a terrible misunderstanding between the two*
a reasonable question and thing to consider, a very peacekeeping mediation and honorable question to ask,
but just the same, tell me:
what could I have possibly misunderstood?
what could she have possibly misunderstood?
Amanda is a master at reworking reality and dodging when really busted for it under 'misunderstandings' and all this other crap -- and if there's anything about me that should scare the hell out of her its my bullshit detector and my knack for seeing right through that.
eg., she could write a work the size of Gone With The Wind all in defense of and explanation of how the sky is green, how it became green, the necessity of seeing it as green, wonderful flowing grand word constructions the great authors might even envy in her efforts...
DEMANDING that you see it her way, insisting and working all sorts of ingenious wordings and persuasions
but at the end.. and with complete comprehension thankyouverymuch
after wading through this Great Work I'm still gonna toss it aside and tell her she's full of shit take her green sky persuading bullshit and stuff it. Evidently most people aren't quite so immune.
I have a bullshit detector (hear that Amanda? Its a bullshit detector, not meter, but hey nice try, maybe next time your aural memory for what you read me say will serve you a bit better eh?)
No unfortunately nothing to misunderstand here.
She copies me, I told her to quit it, she basically told me to get bent/she's not stopping (and she hasn't).
erkolos Wrote:
Why don't you use the earlier droopy account here at AFF?
They've got something going on where it looks like I can log in, like the 'banned' is removed to look at it, but in fact I cannot log in, it gives me the same banned message as if it had 'banned' marked on it to look at it like other banned accounts.
That's the result of some stupidity that took place some time ago and some people's fear that anyone else might see it.
"Water under the bridge' in favor of dealing with this much bigger issue that's inflicted itself on me (see my previous responsse for that)
I had no intention of posting here again, but (and also to also answer Timeloard's query):
yeah it seems this had to be done here.
Amanda obviously favors a onesided (her's) dialogue.
I don't.
PS,
erkolos I don't find either of your questions to be dumb.
I also don't know who Lil_marlene is but you've got my attention, seems you've observed and said some very astute stuff.
RE: Autistic woman speaks out (4)
RE: Autistic woman speaks out
erkolos Wrote:
Then who's saying the truth?
I first became aware of and met Amanda Baggs online on a thing called Second Life as well as another live-time chat known as IRC.
She can forget that tired old 'its only people who knew me the last year or so that are upset by my history' -- because first of all I need to point out that my first awareness of Amanda's fakery didn't come from her suspicious history - it came directly from Amanda herself.
In dialogue after dialogue (wherein btw she, master typist as she claims could not keep up with me, resorting often to simple 'ok' responses when not inspired to the problem responses which were a screaming 'clue')..
our conversations quickly became riddled with Amanda's responses of 'me too me too!" and basic attempts at one-upmanship. Any statements I made about myself or my history were instantly met with these. If I taught myself to read at 18 months as soon as eye patches came off, well she taught herself to read at 9 months. If I excelled in a particularly rare way on a fine motor skills block test, well Amanda was right there 'me too' and working to make her's 'better' and I was really uncomfortable with this, but I wanted to make a friendship so badly, I wanted her to be real, I was so impressed with the idea that just maybe I wasn't the only one with this level of autism, this level of disability out here, but she pressed on.. to the point where very specific events in my life she was right there 'me too me too' and even justifying all this claiming with this being her 'communication learning experience' and even warning me that she is inclined to use my words verbatim. This did not settle well with me and about the time she was encroaching on my very specific and important to MY life experiences with the typewriter in the grouphome, typing Beatles lists and lyrics, and me-too-ing away even at my specific hearing/recall ability and experiences I have had with this regarding the Beatles.. that's when I had enough, dared ms "me too" queen beatle-fan of the world to answer a question she couldn't google about The Beatles and logged off to prevent myself saying something really hostile (in the aim of trying to befriend this person).
This only got worse and we ended up in emails about this with Amanda giving me windy long discourses on how I'm a nut, this is my problem (all said very nicely and in her smarmy cooing persuasive manner of course) and me going along wit this 'yeah right its my problem" because I'd had two separate minor-by-comparison events with individuals, both of them schizophrenics btw (and this was again, before I knew any of this background on Amanda), but oh I'm a nut I'd better talk to my counselor guy, etc etc and when observers who'd witnessed our dialogues (there was more than you and Natalia onboard on those chats Amanda), supporting what I'd seen, agreeing, calling her histrionic, even suggesting words and ways I might nicely advise her to be her own person etc, she raged at these attempts and insissted we should have no 'private' friendship bout a 'public' communication would do. This suited me perfectly fine and I even went around telling people Amanda and I had it sorted, as I thought we had.. save for one thing..
Amanda kept on emailing with these little insistances that I deny what she'd been doing and when I wouldn't, she flew off into a rage and sent me emails crossfiring with mine to her that said the same things:
"Do not email me again. Go AWAY"
That's the gist of how it started one on one, nothing but her direct behaviors to me to cue me. That and inexplicitly her wondering if I was 'a fake' until her friend Laura T identified me to her.
I never could get a clear answer from Amanda on that one.
Amanda has since taken other issues I'd referenced and included them in her stories, like my vomiting problem. She had warned me of her intent to make movies staking claim on stuff of mine (specifically typewriter and Beatles stuff although there were gobs more things involved in this) and advising me if I don't like it, don't look, etc.
I also want to point out here that Amanda is fully aware through those email dialogues how particularly devastating this is to do to me, a person who had to be taught hand-over-hand 'sense of self' or 'self awareness' before a mirror in the special school I attended.
I don't understand who I am the same way as others do, I understand myself the same as I understand others, through these bits of data about myself (I have alot more about myself than I do others but everybody is a composite of data, a sort of mental index card to me) data, owned like objects or limbs or bodies, and she's aware of how particularly cruel it is to be taking from me and the total mindfuck this is for me. She may was well come into my apartment and attempt to rip my limbs off or take my possessions, in fact I'd rather she'd tried that, THAT I could deal with (ei, "knock her into next year") this psychological/intellectual property theft being performed from across the country however is something entirely differnet, a real mind messer, and one I so far have been unable to do a damned thing about.
Someone on YouTube had even asked me if I thought she was autistic or schizophrenic and I had said "probably schizophrenic.'
I had no idea at the time. Not long after people began to contact me with this "I think you're absolutely right, I think you should have a look at this" and pointing me at data and places online where people I don't even know to this day were looking and posting her rather telling background as it is and not the way she'd have you believe.
as 'promised' she posted several movies, some of them using words of mine I had said verbatim to describe myself and my abilities/experiences, some very specific ones.
I quickly realized though the collected data that Baggs and her cohort Laura ("Muskie" to me for a decade prior) had been fleecing me for my life through conversations I'd had online since 1994 with various members of 'the autism community'
Thats not the entirety of it but that's a good summary, a good start, I suppose.
She has some crony who's also a a lawyer (apparently the same who's threatened Vermont services to force them to give into whatever Amanda demands?) to silence me. Not the throngs of people revealing all kinds of stuff about her and saying the most severe things about her for it, no, just me. Why? Because I'm telling the truth. I am the one person who's got a legit beef with her about what she does. Offence being the best defense, she had her neurodiveristy california lawyer buddy threaten me.
This messed me up, hard, for months. TO be screwed and then intimidated to silence about it is a really bad place to be mentally. being a survivor of abuse and institutionalization (and I'm not calling attending a normal school and being a 'joy to have in the classroom' being 'institutionalized' either. I mean special schools like I went to, and lived in, and later was warehoused in.. 20 years of my life.. where's amanda's time to be so affected? She was never offline, never stopped talking about her schizophrenia and elf-hood etc long enough that I can see).
Did she ever tell anyone and offer up that she's been diagnosed with fictitious disorder? I suppose not. That would have been before the trek across country to start her new life after paper-trail - and spare me the 'documents as proof' one of them looks like a stolen prescription pad with Amanda's telltale block writing on it. Give me a break.
side-note: Amanda has a 'closet-full of communicators' -- innat nice?
I'm struggling along to get myself ONE full-sized keyboard I can type on at the rate I am capable of that can't be touched with my lightWRITER and she's got a closetfull? And she doesn't even need them, not one. How nice
erkolos Wrote:
I come to think about Silentmiaow's (Amanda's) video called In my Language. Many parents were very enthusiastical to that video because of how their autistic children reacted to it. I think it would be a shame if that was just playing.
Yes that is a shame and I agree. claiming to speak for people like me and deluding parents and trying to tell them about their children, sentences that start with 'autistics' and going on national tv to that end was particulary nasty in my opinion.
erkolos Wrote:
Droopy seem to be on a side of a complicated conflict few other individual autistics have chosen independently.
I didn't pick it. It (or rather she) picked me.
I'd be quite happy if she'd unpick me and just crawl herself back to wherever it is people like her who obviously think they are some sort of 'fairy elven Gods' come from, and I would be most happy if she crawled right back to her King Cockroach origins. (yeah I saw that movie, no I didn't make the offered assumption. Based on several things she's offered up, its pretty clear that mankind is King Cockroach Option #2 on the poster is where Amanda is 'coming from" -- and its right where she can go back to as far as I'm concerned.)
I'll even tell her I'm a damned elf god myself if that's what it takes, whatever I have to say or do to make this bullshit game of her's over, get her stepping right back off of me.
Listen up, Amanda Baggs: I am shorter than you, I have bigger ears, I can sure as hell hear with them better than you can (I'll take you on national tv and show you up if that's what it takes, if I ever get a damned lawyer of my own, I'll see it done before a judge in court -- that's how confident I am in my abilities and not in yours) -- I'm Elf God, okay? I'm "the others" -- you can back right off now because *this* elf God telling you to. There. Is that "in your language' enough for you?
and as for 'but does it matter if she's fake, she says such lovely words' -- is that what Buddhism teaches you? that its okay to lie as long as you make it pretty sounding enough in the process?
How come no other activist type person.. not Gandhi, not Dr King.. nobody else had to forge and falsify an identity or their history to say what they had to say?
Lies and pretty words built on lies are still just that, lies.
Its an extreme hypocracsy as well to make use of someone that you claim to be activating and advocating for.
I got used and I continue to be used due to my autism and my interesting life (which I am trying to get into a biography as it seems Amanda is smart enough to ask permission and give due credit to those who are established and published).
I get used for my disabilities by someone who claims to defend the rights of people with my disabilities.
I have no words to express how wrong that is.
I also have no words to express how wrong it is that because I am autistic and because I have led this life that its apparently some obligation as far as she (and others?) are concerned that I, unlike the rest of the citizenry out there MUST document my life, must do these things in order to preserve my same rights to privacy and NOT having my life published or secured etc, that others come by naturally.
This whole thing has messed me up, badly, and its not like Amanda Baggs is unaware of that fact. Mutual friends have forwarded this information on to her. Her only concerns in response? Exclusively concerned for herself only, her precious 'reputation,' and a fear for her own physical safety after stupidly exposing herself on international tv and the potential that someone might go after her based on what she's done to me.
Does she have any regrets for the pain she's caused me? Not one.
Any regrets that I've gotten so sick and had major behavior setbacks to the point that my independence and ability to live on my own have been at their highest risk in 12 years due to the stress she's caused me? Nope not a one.
Any regrets for having sent a lawyer to bully me? That being the most devastating act (and one I am told both her her lawyer, a mother to an AS son as well as Amanda's well autism-versed not to mention well droopy-versed were clear on how that would affect me and how I'd react).
Not a regret in this world, not a one. Not one iota, and no signs whatsoever of slowing or slacking her charade.
I have to wonder where and how she actually expects this to end up?
I mean, I know now, and I've made it clear this is unwelcomed, right from the use of adaptive devices she doesn't need, to the "Getting the Truth Out' mockery of the way I pull my hair and places I have been in onward.. its enough, its really more than enough.. it has to stop.
Does she expect that I will somehow magicaly concede and give up and give in and allow her free uncontested access to my life for her disposal and usage? Does she expect this to go on indefinately, for ever?
Not in my lifetime.
Nobody has a right to do this to another, nobody has a right to mess with me the way that she has.
There is no reason anyone can conceivably give me to justify this.
Its not okay and its never going to be okay. I will never magically rollover and give up rights to my life.
If she's got plans to make a book out of my life, rotsa ruck Amanda. I can prove I'm me and while I won't post details for sake of stalking prevention (yeah, I know, its a bit late now), a lawyer, a biographer will have full access if I can get them, and I can prove I am me my capabilities and disabilities and that my stuff actually happened to me, etc
Can she?
Bet she can't.
Bet she can't pack my 42 years into her currently 26 and make it viable, feasible in a book, especially not with most of her back data out there, courtesy of herself
erkolos Wrote:
Then who's saying the truth?
I first became aware of and met Amanda Baggs online on a thing called Second Life as well as another live-time chat known as IRC.
She can forget that tired old 'its only people who knew me the last year or so that are upset by my history' -- because first of all I need to point out that my first awareness of Amanda's fakery didn't come from her suspicious history - it came directly from Amanda herself.
In dialogue after dialogue (wherein btw she, master typist as she claims could not keep up with me, resorting often to simple 'ok' responses when not inspired to the problem responses which were a screaming 'clue')..
our conversations quickly became riddled with Amanda's responses of 'me too me too!" and basic attempts at one-upmanship. Any statements I made about myself or my history were instantly met with these. If I taught myself to read at 18 months as soon as eye patches came off, well she taught herself to read at 9 months. If I excelled in a particularly rare way on a fine motor skills block test, well Amanda was right there 'me too' and working to make her's 'better' and I was really uncomfortable with this, but I wanted to make a friendship so badly, I wanted her to be real, I was so impressed with the idea that just maybe I wasn't the only one with this level of autism, this level of disability out here, but she pressed on.. to the point where very specific events in my life she was right there 'me too me too' and even justifying all this claiming with this being her 'communication learning experience' and even warning me that she is inclined to use my words verbatim. This did not settle well with me and about the time she was encroaching on my very specific and important to MY life experiences with the typewriter in the grouphome, typing Beatles lists and lyrics, and me-too-ing away even at my specific hearing/recall ability and experiences I have had with this regarding the Beatles.. that's when I had enough, dared ms "me too" queen beatle-fan of the world to answer a question she couldn't google about The Beatles and logged off to prevent myself saying something really hostile (in the aim of trying to befriend this person).
This only got worse and we ended up in emails about this with Amanda giving me windy long discourses on how I'm a nut, this is my problem (all said very nicely and in her smarmy cooing persuasive manner of course) and me going along wit this 'yeah right its my problem" because I'd had two separate minor-by-comparison events with individuals, both of them schizophrenics btw (and this was again, before I knew any of this background on Amanda), but oh I'm a nut I'd better talk to my counselor guy, etc etc and when observers who'd witnessed our dialogues (there was more than you and Natalia onboard on those chats Amanda), supporting what I'd seen, agreeing, calling her histrionic, even suggesting words and ways I might nicely advise her to be her own person etc, she raged at these attempts and insissted we should have no 'private' friendship bout a 'public' communication would do. This suited me perfectly fine and I even went around telling people Amanda and I had it sorted, as I thought we had.. save for one thing..
Amanda kept on emailing with these little insistances that I deny what she'd been doing and when I wouldn't, she flew off into a rage and sent me emails crossfiring with mine to her that said the same things:
"Do not email me again. Go AWAY"
That's the gist of how it started one on one, nothing but her direct behaviors to me to cue me. That and inexplicitly her wondering if I was 'a fake' until her friend Laura T identified me to her.
I never could get a clear answer from Amanda on that one.
Amanda has since taken other issues I'd referenced and included them in her stories, like my vomiting problem. She had warned me of her intent to make movies staking claim on stuff of mine (specifically typewriter and Beatles stuff although there were gobs more things involved in this) and advising me if I don't like it, don't look, etc.
I also want to point out here that Amanda is fully aware through those email dialogues how particularly devastating this is to do to me, a person who had to be taught hand-over-hand 'sense of self' or 'self awareness' before a mirror in the special school I attended.
I don't understand who I am the same way as others do, I understand myself the same as I understand others, through these bits of data about myself (I have alot more about myself than I do others but everybody is a composite of data, a sort of mental index card to me) data, owned like objects or limbs or bodies, and she's aware of how particularly cruel it is to be taking from me and the total mindfuck this is for me. She may was well come into my apartment and attempt to rip my limbs off or take my possessions, in fact I'd rather she'd tried that, THAT I could deal with (ei, "knock her into next year") this psychological/intellectual property theft being performed from across the country however is something entirely differnet, a real mind messer, and one I so far have been unable to do a damned thing about.
Someone on YouTube had even asked me if I thought she was autistic or schizophrenic and I had said "probably schizophrenic.'
I had no idea at the time. Not long after people began to contact me with this "I think you're absolutely right, I think you should have a look at this" and pointing me at data and places online where people I don't even know to this day were looking and posting her rather telling background as it is and not the way she'd have you believe.
as 'promised' she posted several movies, some of them using words of mine I had said verbatim to describe myself and my abilities/experiences, some very specific ones.
I quickly realized though the collected data that Baggs and her cohort Laura ("Muskie" to me for a decade prior) had been fleecing me for my life through conversations I'd had online since 1994 with various members of 'the autism community'
Thats not the entirety of it but that's a good summary, a good start, I suppose.
She has some crony who's also a a lawyer (apparently the same who's threatened Vermont services to force them to give into whatever Amanda demands?) to silence me. Not the throngs of people revealing all kinds of stuff about her and saying the most severe things about her for it, no, just me. Why? Because I'm telling the truth. I am the one person who's got a legit beef with her about what she does. Offence being the best defense, she had her neurodiveristy california lawyer buddy threaten me.
This messed me up, hard, for months. TO be screwed and then intimidated to silence about it is a really bad place to be mentally. being a survivor of abuse and institutionalization (and I'm not calling attending a normal school and being a 'joy to have in the classroom' being 'institutionalized' either. I mean special schools like I went to, and lived in, and later was warehoused in.. 20 years of my life.. where's amanda's time to be so affected? She was never offline, never stopped talking about her schizophrenia and elf-hood etc long enough that I can see).
Did she ever tell anyone and offer up that she's been diagnosed with fictitious disorder? I suppose not. That would have been before the trek across country to start her new life after paper-trail - and spare me the 'documents as proof' one of them looks like a stolen prescription pad with Amanda's telltale block writing on it. Give me a break.
side-note: Amanda has a 'closet-full of communicators' -- innat nice?
I'm struggling along to get myself ONE full-sized keyboard I can type on at the rate I am capable of that can't be touched with my lightWRITER and she's got a closetfull? And she doesn't even need them, not one. How nice
erkolos Wrote:
I come to think about Silentmiaow's (Amanda's) video called In my Language. Many parents were very enthusiastical to that video because of how their autistic children reacted to it. I think it would be a shame if that was just playing.
Yes that is a shame and I agree. claiming to speak for people like me and deluding parents and trying to tell them about their children, sentences that start with 'autistics' and going on national tv to that end was particulary nasty in my opinion.
erkolos Wrote:
Droopy seem to be on a side of a complicated conflict few other individual autistics have chosen independently.
I didn't pick it. It (or rather she) picked me.
I'd be quite happy if she'd unpick me and just crawl herself back to wherever it is people like her who obviously think they are some sort of 'fairy elven Gods' come from, and I would be most happy if she crawled right back to her King Cockroach origins. (yeah I saw that movie, no I didn't make the offered assumption. Based on several things she's offered up, its pretty clear that mankind is King Cockroach Option #2 on the poster is where Amanda is 'coming from" -- and its right where she can go back to as far as I'm concerned.)
I'll even tell her I'm a damned elf god myself if that's what it takes, whatever I have to say or do to make this bullshit game of her's over, get her stepping right back off of me.
Listen up, Amanda Baggs: I am shorter than you, I have bigger ears, I can sure as hell hear with them better than you can (I'll take you on national tv and show you up if that's what it takes, if I ever get a damned lawyer of my own, I'll see it done before a judge in court -- that's how confident I am in my abilities and not in yours) -- I'm Elf God, okay? I'm "the others" -- you can back right off now because *this* elf God telling you to. There. Is that "in your language' enough for you?
and as for 'but does it matter if she's fake, she says such lovely words' -- is that what Buddhism teaches you? that its okay to lie as long as you make it pretty sounding enough in the process?
How come no other activist type person.. not Gandhi, not Dr King.. nobody else had to forge and falsify an identity or their history to say what they had to say?
Lies and pretty words built on lies are still just that, lies.
Its an extreme hypocracsy as well to make use of someone that you claim to be activating and advocating for.
I got used and I continue to be used due to my autism and my interesting life (which I am trying to get into a biography as it seems Amanda is smart enough to ask permission and give due credit to those who are established and published).
I get used for my disabilities by someone who claims to defend the rights of people with my disabilities.
I have no words to express how wrong that is.
I also have no words to express how wrong it is that because I am autistic and because I have led this life that its apparently some obligation as far as she (and others?) are concerned that I, unlike the rest of the citizenry out there MUST document my life, must do these things in order to preserve my same rights to privacy and NOT having my life published or secured etc, that others come by naturally.
This whole thing has messed me up, badly, and its not like Amanda Baggs is unaware of that fact. Mutual friends have forwarded this information on to her. Her only concerns in response? Exclusively concerned for herself only, her precious 'reputation,' and a fear for her own physical safety after stupidly exposing herself on international tv and the potential that someone might go after her based on what she's done to me.
Does she have any regrets for the pain she's caused me? Not one.
Any regrets that I've gotten so sick and had major behavior setbacks to the point that my independence and ability to live on my own have been at their highest risk in 12 years due to the stress she's caused me? Nope not a one.
Any regrets for having sent a lawyer to bully me? That being the most devastating act (and one I am told both her her lawyer, a mother to an AS son as well as Amanda's well autism-versed not to mention well droopy-versed were clear on how that would affect me and how I'd react).
Not a regret in this world, not a one. Not one iota, and no signs whatsoever of slowing or slacking her charade.
I have to wonder where and how she actually expects this to end up?
I mean, I know now, and I've made it clear this is unwelcomed, right from the use of adaptive devices she doesn't need, to the "Getting the Truth Out' mockery of the way I pull my hair and places I have been in onward.. its enough, its really more than enough.. it has to stop.
Does she expect that I will somehow magicaly concede and give up and give in and allow her free uncontested access to my life for her disposal and usage? Does she expect this to go on indefinately, for ever?
Not in my lifetime.
Nobody has a right to do this to another, nobody has a right to mess with me the way that she has.
There is no reason anyone can conceivably give me to justify this.
Its not okay and its never going to be okay. I will never magically rollover and give up rights to my life.
If she's got plans to make a book out of my life, rotsa ruck Amanda. I can prove I'm me and while I won't post details for sake of stalking prevention (yeah, I know, its a bit late now), a lawyer, a biographer will have full access if I can get them, and I can prove I am me my capabilities and disabilities and that my stuff actually happened to me, etc
Can she?
Bet she can't.
Bet she can't pack my 42 years into her currently 26 and make it viable, feasible in a book, especially not with most of her back data out there, courtesy of herself
RE: Autistic woman speaks out (3)
RE: Autistic woman speaks out
Amanda Baggs said:
"It gets exhausting to give my whole history to everyone I meet, wondering which parts are being left out that they could find suspicious. And also feels like an invasion of privacy at times, like why should I have to give a full history every time I talk to someone instead of just being myself as I am now without having to explain all the time?"
You have yet to ever even once actually give the complete full unabridged and TRUTHFUL version of your own life, Amanda.
That you mislead people is exactly why as long as you're going to pretend to be someone like me and then pretend to speak on behalf of/advocate for people like me, then yes damned straight you should carry your history, the complete full and unabridge one you've never come clean with to start with, right out there in front of you and be prepared and ready to recite and offer it up at every turn, damned straight.
If you don't like it, then who asked you to stick yourself out there as a pseudo autistic psuedo-advocate for us anyway?
You can either start acting like the NT (mentally ill NT whatever) that you've been all along, else as long as you persist in this game you're playing when you meet people, beg for publicity/get in cahoots with Donna Williams for 'interviews' etc then:
you start sentences with 'autistics' this and 'autistics' that as if you speak for us all, you reply to parents of LFA kids and others in intentionally very misleading ways, going distinctly and consistently out of your way to painting a picture of yourself as being LFA and having been that way all you life, don't even pretend you don't or as if this has been done 'accidentally' etc. Its way the hell too consistent and calculatedly Amanda, not eveyrbody is an idiot and not everybody is going to be swooned by your ultra smooth-talking explaining away item by item the shit that you do.
It was on a part of AFF that I actually first heard the phrase 'word wrangler' -- it was said to me in a weird rage by ''Amy' on the IRC chat.. now I understand more of why that chat took place and why she was raging some of the things at me she was..
Amy must've thought I was Amanda, or an Amanda prototype or something. I can understand that now. "Word Wrangler' certainly is an adept phrase for what she does and I can see why somebody would be all braced and maybe even overly ready to go off if they thought I was one and the same (which as it happens is something Amanda kinda went far and wide to propogate with the borrowing so much from my life, it is any wonder we probably looked like bookends?)
Amanda embraced the idea of "LFA" when I met her, its been since then she's decided its 'cooler' to go out of her way to infer/give impression of being the most severely autistic she can be while denying 'LFA" in favor of her replacement phrase 'severely disabled' which she isn't either and is also playacted. Btw, You can stop trying to 'redefine' autism so it includes you.
It doesn't.
But back to the issue,
Amanda *YOU* signed up for this 'invasion of privacy' (read: your 15 minutes of attention-seeking fame at the expense of others such as myself) you reap what you sow. Start being honest and up front, if you don't like it, can't be bothered with this requirement of reality and honesty that is part and parcel to what you and you alone signed up for with your cherade, then again all I've got to say to you is: don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, leave my life intact and as much the way you found it as is possible, and GO AWAY
PS, I WILL 'poke fun at you' for being fat since you are already poking fun at my very real experience of having laid here in the fetal position nearly starving to death in my own apartment before Adult Protective Services came to the rescue.
I distincly recall having to assemble my computer (which I had taken to pieces out of upset) and reinstalling everyrthign, OS and all, so that I might get online and ask somebody how you cook instant mashed potatoes (as it was the one box of food I had in this entire apartment.)
I had services enough at the time to get me to two doctor's appointments but not to get food or other basic needs met in here. After I stopped attending the university and I lost so many services I'd had based on that, Two doctors noticed my dangerous weightloss and why. How nasty of you to latch onto this as well as everything else.
I've been there, again, me, and no its no excuse for morbid obescity.
Nice try, however I suppse you didn't expect the origins of this story to show up and read it.
Ive come to serious danger of starving several other times due to a behavioral projectile vomiting problem which I have been facing again, no thanks to you and the stress you've caused.
Its just another part of my life you make fun of me by way of mockery by theft, you get what you deserve, oh Fatty-fatty-two-by-four.
GO AWAY
Amanda Baggs said:
"It gets exhausting to give my whole history to everyone I meet, wondering which parts are being left out that they could find suspicious. And also feels like an invasion of privacy at times, like why should I have to give a full history every time I talk to someone instead of just being myself as I am now without having to explain all the time?"
You have yet to ever even once actually give the complete full unabridged and TRUTHFUL version of your own life, Amanda.
That you mislead people is exactly why as long as you're going to pretend to be someone like me and then pretend to speak on behalf of/advocate for people like me, then yes damned straight you should carry your history, the complete full and unabridge one you've never come clean with to start with, right out there in front of you and be prepared and ready to recite and offer it up at every turn, damned straight.
If you don't like it, then who asked you to stick yourself out there as a pseudo autistic psuedo-advocate for us anyway?
You can either start acting like the NT (mentally ill NT whatever) that you've been all along, else as long as you persist in this game you're playing when you meet people, beg for publicity/get in cahoots with Donna Williams for 'interviews' etc then:
you start sentences with 'autistics' this and 'autistics' that as if you speak for us all, you reply to parents of LFA kids and others in intentionally very misleading ways, going distinctly and consistently out of your way to painting a picture of yourself as being LFA and having been that way all you life, don't even pretend you don't or as if this has been done 'accidentally' etc. Its way the hell too consistent and calculatedly Amanda, not eveyrbody is an idiot and not everybody is going to be swooned by your ultra smooth-talking explaining away item by item the shit that you do.
It was on a part of AFF that I actually first heard the phrase 'word wrangler' -- it was said to me in a weird rage by ''Amy' on the IRC chat.. now I understand more of why that chat took place and why she was raging some of the things at me she was..
Amy must've thought I was Amanda, or an Amanda prototype or something. I can understand that now. "Word Wrangler' certainly is an adept phrase for what she does and I can see why somebody would be all braced and maybe even overly ready to go off if they thought I was one and the same (which as it happens is something Amanda kinda went far and wide to propogate with the borrowing so much from my life, it is any wonder we probably looked like bookends?)
Amanda embraced the idea of "LFA" when I met her, its been since then she's decided its 'cooler' to go out of her way to infer/give impression of being the most severely autistic she can be while denying 'LFA" in favor of her replacement phrase 'severely disabled' which she isn't either and is also playacted. Btw, You can stop trying to 'redefine' autism so it includes you.
It doesn't.
But back to the issue,
Amanda *YOU* signed up for this 'invasion of privacy' (read: your 15 minutes of attention-seeking fame at the expense of others such as myself) you reap what you sow. Start being honest and up front, if you don't like it, can't be bothered with this requirement of reality and honesty that is part and parcel to what you and you alone signed up for with your cherade, then again all I've got to say to you is: don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, leave my life intact and as much the way you found it as is possible, and GO AWAY
PS, I WILL 'poke fun at you' for being fat since you are already poking fun at my very real experience of having laid here in the fetal position nearly starving to death in my own apartment before Adult Protective Services came to the rescue.
I distincly recall having to assemble my computer (which I had taken to pieces out of upset) and reinstalling everyrthign, OS and all, so that I might get online and ask somebody how you cook instant mashed potatoes (as it was the one box of food I had in this entire apartment.)
I had services enough at the time to get me to two doctor's appointments but not to get food or other basic needs met in here. After I stopped attending the university and I lost so many services I'd had based on that, Two doctors noticed my dangerous weightloss and why. How nasty of you to latch onto this as well as everything else.
I've been there, again, me, and no its no excuse for morbid obescity.
Nice try, however I suppse you didn't expect the origins of this story to show up and read it.
Ive come to serious danger of starving several other times due to a behavioral projectile vomiting problem which I have been facing again, no thanks to you and the stress you've caused.
Its just another part of my life you make fun of me by way of mockery by theft, you get what you deserve, oh Fatty-fatty-two-by-four.
GO AWAY
RE: Autistic woman speaks out (2)
Amanda, if you had ANY decency in you at ALL you'd put down that communicator device that you never needed, stand up out of that wheelchair you also never needed and use that fancy remote control camera of yours one last time to stand up on your own two feet and look into it and speak with your voice you've had all along to say you're sorry, first directly to me because if there's anybody you should be saying you are sorry to frankly its me, then to the whole entire 'autism community' and lastly to the world at large for the mega snowjob you've been pulling on them all.
And then you'd go the hell away, realizing you've caused more than your share of a lifetime of agony and hurt in your already too-long incredibly cruel stunt.
You've caused enough pain and upset for about five lifetimes.
Fake Dr Kings type who are self-serving and faking, only wearing Al Jolson type blackface are NOT needed
I have autism LFA kanner's severe classic noverbal however-you-want-to-say-it *AUTISM* and I can't tell you enough, stop faking me, stop pretending to do a damned thing on my behalf or behalf of anyone *like* me because you are a fake and YOU do NOT SPEAK FOR ME
I don't know how you sleep at night, what kind of conscience can possibly be operating in you that enables you to do this to another human being, nevermind one who's at a disadvantage just precisely BECAUSE they are
STOP NOW.
GO AWAY.
*PLEASE*
And then you'd go the hell away, realizing you've caused more than your share of a lifetime of agony and hurt in your already too-long incredibly cruel stunt.
You've caused enough pain and upset for about five lifetimes.
Fake Dr Kings type who are self-serving and faking, only wearing Al Jolson type blackface are NOT needed
I have autism LFA kanner's severe classic noverbal however-you-want-to-say-it *AUTISM* and I can't tell you enough, stop faking me, stop pretending to do a damned thing on my behalf or behalf of anyone *like* me because you are a fake and YOU do NOT SPEAK FOR ME
I don't know how you sleep at night, what kind of conscience can possibly be operating in you that enables you to do this to another human being, nevermind one who's at a disadvantage just precisely BECAUSE they are
STOP NOW.
GO AWAY.
*PLEASE*
Re: Autistic Woman Speaks out (1)
RE: Autistic woman speaks out
Amanda if you're so for real then why keep on copying MY life as part of your play-acting?
Get real about the fact that you are no more autistic than George W Bush and you and Muskie (Laura T T) have been scoping me out and using me ofr a staple part of yoru story line for *years* and when I started to speak out about it, you called a laywer friend you'd made through your social netowrking to badger and bully me to silence about it.
Why are you telling Donna Williams and others that it was YOU who typed Beatles lyrics as your first means of communication when it wasn't? Why did you sit there going 'me too me too!" at everything I said to you when I met you, why have you gone out of your way to pretend to be absolutely every sort of autistic, sampling and claiming every extreme in ability and disability, like the dog God in the 101 Dalmations book, trying to be and reflect everyone's autism back to them all the time?
Why aren't you honest about the fact that you were not autistic at all growing up? Why do you have to try to steal and adopt and adapt and borrow and rob from my life to do this? Hmm?
Why can't you say what you've got to say on your own terms based on your own life? Oh that's right because you're *not autistic*
I don't care what drives you do to do this I don't care if its mental illness I just don't give a shit because however great yo uthink your need or compulsion is to do this, my need that you DON'T is much GREATER.
You didn't give a shit about and type Beatles lyrics that was ME
You didn't accomplish any block test the way I did that was ME
You didn't spent your entire teenaged years in an institution that was ME
You weren't the one born with these birth defects and obviously disabled that was ME
You weren't the one disabled from birth like this like I am that was ME
You weren't diagnosed as LFA as a toddler that was ME
You don't have my hearing ability and recall that's ME
you don't have any of my disabilities and abilities because they are not you at all, they are ME and MINE
You don't move like I do, you don't think like I do, you don't do shit like I do until or unless you are directly mocking me and using me for your bullshit story and its time you admitted it and stepped down, stepped off
If you *must* talk your shit, but at very least for God's sake, do it honestly! You're no more LFA than any of the rest of the NT population, you're some twisted malingering mentally ill I-don-t-know-what-and-I-don't-care and its gotta stop.
Start being honest about the fact those movies are put on, are acting and nothing more nothing less,get real about your own past and the very obvious distinctions between its reality and the reality of my past.
You were talking and as normal as can be, dropped a ton of LSD not 'briefrly' but for MONTHS, several times a day every day!
You did this while you were 14 and attending a little college for gifted teenagers, nothing wrong with you in the least, and all you who will try to twist and justify this for her, spare me, she's not pretending to be AS/HFA, she's taking from my life to pretend to be LFA like me and she's not being honest about it at ALL.
Somebody made the passing comment that some of your LSD-nduced schizophrenia shit resembled
'atypical autism' and you ran with it. You met up with your pal Tconsik who'd already screwed me on a coyright issue stealing something I'd written for her 'autisics.org' page, and the two of you knew I have a tendency to just leave the interent when things get too ugly, figuring you'd take from me and if I ever showed up again to see it, you'd just bully me right off again and keep what's mine, rightfully mine, which is the story of MY LIFE, MINE, not yours' -- get it?
I don't care what your problem is, nothing in this world can justify the shit you are pulling and the fact that you are basing your lies upon me to do it
It takes a real nasty lowdown dirtbag of a person to latch onto a disabled person, one who actually has kanner's severe autism, movement disorders, brain damnage, ehler's danlos, visually impaired..
while you've been crapping all over me and seeking attention Amanda, I've gone legally blind these past 6 months and its due to stress, the thing in my eye has not healed, and I've lost alot of weight and my independence has been at very big risk due to you and your lawyer pal bullying.. my life my idepenence in shreds and my having to fight hard to hang on.. all so that you, the 'great autism/disability advocate' can have your 15 minutes of fame. While you're pretending to 'advocate' for me, who the hell is going to protect me from YOU?
Step off of me, Amanda M Baggs and I *mean* it.
Amanda if you're so for real then why keep on copying MY life as part of your play-acting?
Get real about the fact that you are no more autistic than George W Bush and you and Muskie (Laura T T) have been scoping me out and using me ofr a staple part of yoru story line for *years* and when I started to speak out about it, you called a laywer friend you'd made through your social netowrking to badger and bully me to silence about it.
Why are you telling Donna Williams and others that it was YOU who typed Beatles lyrics as your first means of communication when it wasn't? Why did you sit there going 'me too me too!" at everything I said to you when I met you, why have you gone out of your way to pretend to be absolutely every sort of autistic, sampling and claiming every extreme in ability and disability, like the dog God in the 101 Dalmations book, trying to be and reflect everyone's autism back to them all the time?
Why aren't you honest about the fact that you were not autistic at all growing up? Why do you have to try to steal and adopt and adapt and borrow and rob from my life to do this? Hmm?
Why can't you say what you've got to say on your own terms based on your own life? Oh that's right because you're *not autistic*
I don't care what drives you do to do this I don't care if its mental illness I just don't give a shit because however great yo uthink your need or compulsion is to do this, my need that you DON'T is much GREATER.
You didn't give a shit about and type Beatles lyrics that was ME
You didn't accomplish any block test the way I did that was ME
You didn't spent your entire teenaged years in an institution that was ME
You weren't the one born with these birth defects and obviously disabled that was ME
You weren't the one disabled from birth like this like I am that was ME
You weren't diagnosed as LFA as a toddler that was ME
You don't have my hearing ability and recall that's ME
you don't have any of my disabilities and abilities because they are not you at all, they are ME and MINE
You don't move like I do, you don't think like I do, you don't do shit like I do until or unless you are directly mocking me and using me for your bullshit story and its time you admitted it and stepped down, stepped off
If you *must* talk your shit, but at very least for God's sake, do it honestly! You're no more LFA than any of the rest of the NT population, you're some twisted malingering mentally ill I-don-t-know-what-and-I-don't-care and its gotta stop.
Start being honest about the fact those movies are put on, are acting and nothing more nothing less,get real about your own past and the very obvious distinctions between its reality and the reality of my past.
You were talking and as normal as can be, dropped a ton of LSD not 'briefrly' but for MONTHS, several times a day every day!
You did this while you were 14 and attending a little college for gifted teenagers, nothing wrong with you in the least, and all you who will try to twist and justify this for her, spare me, she's not pretending to be AS/HFA, she's taking from my life to pretend to be LFA like me and she's not being honest about it at ALL.
Somebody made the passing comment that some of your LSD-nduced schizophrenia shit resembled
'atypical autism' and you ran with it. You met up with your pal Tconsik who'd already screwed me on a coyright issue stealing something I'd written for her 'autisics.org' page, and the two of you knew I have a tendency to just leave the interent when things get too ugly, figuring you'd take from me and if I ever showed up again to see it, you'd just bully me right off again and keep what's mine, rightfully mine, which is the story of MY LIFE, MINE, not yours' -- get it?
I don't care what your problem is, nothing in this world can justify the shit you are pulling and the fact that you are basing your lies upon me to do it
It takes a real nasty lowdown dirtbag of a person to latch onto a disabled person, one who actually has kanner's severe autism, movement disorders, brain damnage, ehler's danlos, visually impaired..
while you've been crapping all over me and seeking attention Amanda, I've gone legally blind these past 6 months and its due to stress, the thing in my eye has not healed, and I've lost alot of weight and my independence has been at very big risk due to you and your lawyer pal bullying.. my life my idepenence in shreds and my having to fight hard to hang on.. all so that you, the 'great autism/disability advocate' can have your 15 minutes of fame. While you're pretending to 'advocate' for me, who the hell is going to protect me from YOU?
Step off of me, Amanda M Baggs and I *mean* it.
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